What’s the first thing you notice about people? Is it their heart or their face? I know, it’s not possible to see a person’s heart, but there’s a middle ground we can spread the mat for today’s blunt.
I agree, you don’t see hearts. you see faces, shoes, bodies, cars, styles, humour, eyes, confidence—the list goes on. Sadly, these things wear off, and when what’s intriguing becomes boring, you see what you did not see at first.
Your heart shows through your actions, your actions mirror your intentions, and what’s a better action than offering someone you care about chocolate cake?
You might be wondering what that has to do with all of this. Well, the best person to ask will be Peter Parker.
If I asked you who Ursula is, you might not know because she had limited screen time, but in the short time we saw her, she showed our beloved, friendly neighbourhood superhero so much love that it triggered the entire fandom to ask, “What if he never dated Mary Jane?”
Now, I know that the filmmakers made Mary Jane the main character, the Eve to Peter’s Adam, his missing rib, and yes, she really stayed missing (pun intended).
If you’ll agree with me, that relationship was filled with so much toxicity that, for a nice guy like Peter, we all feel he deserved more.
He deserved love. He deserved happiness. He deserved the peace of not chasing a girl who loved everyone else but him.
She might have loved him as Spider-Man, but as Peter, Mary Jane had the tendency of choosing anyone else who slightly offered more.
Just like Lois Lane, she was a self-absorbed character. She’s more likely to date the captain of the football team than date a “nerd next door.”
However, this isn’t just about Mary Jane; this is also about you. How many times have you friend-zoned someone who might’ve been a better match than the person you were chasing?
How many times have you called someone who cared about you “too nice to date”?
How many Ursulas have you left for a Mary Jane?
Some girls will date the bad boy but long to end up with the nice guy because he’s safe. Some guys will ignore every decent girl for the “baddie” and then look to start criticising bad girls when it’s time to settle down.
Why do we have to keep going round in circles only to end up at the place we could have started in the first place?
What is it about bad (toxic) situations that makes them attractive in the first place?
Loving someone who doesn’t love you. Chasing after someone who takes you for granted. Being with someone who always chooses someone else.
Is it the thrill? Or do you just enjoy the drama?
The fact that “nice people” are very easy to ignore exposes the fact that you—we—all of us—don’t like the idea of projects.
You might be blind to potential, impatient to groom, unable to spot a diamond in the rough, liking the glitter more than the actual gold.
As you grow older, you want better. Your priorities change. You begin to value potential, become open to grooming because that’s practically what you’ll do in marriage.
You begin to filter the red to spot the green flags. You begin to value gold.
Imagine if you had done all of this earlier in life. I know, you were young, you wanted thrill, fun, excitement, and all the bursts that come with youth. Sigh. If only you knew better.
You could have saved yourself from several bad, unnecessary, hurtful situationships and relationships. If you’ve been wondering how a dating pool gets messy, that’s it right there.
People who don’t completely heal decide to jump into the pool with their dirt.
The innocence of finding love without the fear of hurt has been replaced by the action of self-defence, where you “kiss with your eyes open.”
You love without being vulnerable. You make love with your body but never open your soul. And you say you want love and still keep your trust at home.
I hope you heal from all the ghosts of ‘exes’ past.
It’s the month of love, so here’s your reminder to stop chasing Mary Jane. Stop falling for Oliver Queen, the Bruce Wayne who hasn’t healed. See through the glam.
You deserve good love too, but you have to fix your priorities, okay?
