You were told to always form a ‘big circle’ during P.E. classes when you were little.
The irony is that as we grew, P.E. also grew. In the same way, we pick up traits, notice our values change, and even what we want to be called by friends, P.E. did the same and later identified itself as P.H.E.
Crazy, right?
Let’s go back to the childhood memory of forming a ‘big circle.’ That simple act of holding hands, jumping around cheerfully to create space while singing a song, became about networking as we grew older.
If you’re big, you want a small circle, but if you’re small, you prefer a big circle. A circle big enough to help you rise to the top. So, you learn why a small circle is better.
In case you didn’t notice, this post isn’t about circles. It’s about the reason why circles exist: HELP.
We all need help. If my brother ever reads this post, he’ll comment and agree with me that our mom is a kind woman; if we’re honest, she was too kind for our liking.
Almost all the priests ate at our house. They came with seminarians; at some point, the only priests who didn’t know our house were the priests who didn’t serve mass at our parish.
Sometimes, they would come bearing gifts, and my mother would ask us not to touch them. At least not yet, or so we would think, till we saw her offer the same gift brought for us on a tray to some random visitor.
Kindness should not be a trade, but a gesture. However, you can’t deny that you are kind sometimes only because ‘no one knows tomorrow.’ That’s just sad.
I don’t know if you noticed, but people who help a lot rarely ask for help themselves. It’s not that they don’t need it; they do. They just fall into this trap of not wanting to bother others.
My mum would say my brother rarely asked for much while he was in school. Even when he was not, he would say, ‘I’m okay.’ Now, she applauds my baby sister for being the ‘voice’ that speaks out when my baby brother ‘lies’ that all is well.
She’s grown, and so have I. I took up the challenge of not asking for help so that I could be a good boy for my mom, but as I grew, I discovered YOU WILL ALWAYS NEED HELP.
The big question is, who should you ask?
Which brings us back to circles:
The major similarity between both circles, big and small, is ‘self-interest.’
Eight out of ten times, you will put yourself first over others, except, of course, if you are my mother.
That’s why even though you start in life as a big circle, you always trim it down, using trust, value, and personal benefits as your shears. In all, the truth is that you are ‘looking for what’s best for YOU.’
It is only love that makes us sacrifice; other than that, we are wired selfish. The people in your circle should be people you trust, love, sacrifice for, and most importantly, people who can do the same for you.
There are a lot of fakes. ‘Nobody loves you; they are only after what you offer.’
If they exist, I mean the people that love you, they are rare: your parents [they don’t have a choice], your family [at some point, they will choose], your friends [not all of them].
So, what do you do with the people that love you?
I’ve heard countless times that relationships are a currency. In this cold world, where disappointment is more rampant than kindness, finding people who love you is a blessing.
When you do find them, don’t break their trust, always remain valuable to them, and never take their sacrifices for granted.
Think deeply about the people that have been there for you. It doesn’t always have to be about money. Value is defined by the one who has use for it.
Remember, friendship is more than who you know, it is about who can be there for you. Although some will change, and some will move on, make sure you remain true to those values.
Share this post with someone in your ‘small circle’ to show them you value them.
